Uncomfortable Christmas

awkward

Before I start this post, I just want to point out that it is merely based on my personal opinions. This is in no way meant to be offensive to anyone. If you get easily offended about religious topics, it may be best to move onto something else. If there is something that may be offensive to you, I apologize. Also, please note that this is not a bash against an entire religion. This is simply one incident that occurred. I am in no way bashing any person, group, or belief with this article. This is simply a rant towards something that has been on my mind the past couple of days, and I needed to vent about it somehow. I encourage you to leave your explained opinion in the comments. I’d love to hear other perspectives about the situation.

Let’s start from the beginning. I’ve never been big on the whole church and religion thing. It’s just something that has never appealed to me. There are multiple aspects that have turned me off from it; however, this has to be the biggest reason I’ve found to date.

For the past few years I’ve gone to the Christmas Eve service at a church that my parents and younger brother attend. I’ve been perfectly fine with this because, as it is the holiday season, I want my mother to be happy (just as most children would want). Nothing has ever quite bothered me as much as the predicament I was placed into on Christmas Eve 2013.

Just like most Christmas Eve services, I showed up with a positive attitude. I’ve always figured that if I’m going to be there, I might as well enjoy it by having a positive attitude. Plus, who wants to listen to someone complain about a 30 minute service on Christmas? Anyway, as I was sitting there with my entire family, which includes my parents, sister, brother, and grandparents, everything seemed like it was going fine. The smiles, the laughs, the “Christmas joy” surrounded the room – for the most part.

Now, time for the good stuff. The somewhat off-key singing and strange hand motions with the song had finally ended, and it was time for the candle light service to start. Before the candle lighting started, the preacher felt the need to give a brief sermon while he was on stage, which is obviously something I expected. While giving the sermon to a group of people that included a very large number of people who only show up to church on a holiday service (I assume most are in the same predicament I am), the preacher decided to make a few comments about lighting the candle. These comments included statements stating that only people who “accept God’s mission to spread the word” and who “truly accept God in their life” should light their candle. Begin rant here.

Now, there are quite a few problems that I see with this. Let’s go through them, shall we?

1. What is my option B?

One of my biggest issues with what this man said was the he didn’t give a simple option for those who don’t accept these “tasks.” What the hell am I supposed to do? Do I stand there awkwardly? Do I leave the church? Do I lie in front of a group of nearly 200 people and “accept” this? Honestly, I would have felt much more comfortable if he would have told me to go home and enjoy my wonderful life before I walked in.

So, what did I do? I light the candle with heavy regret, but I knew I had a choice at that point – deal with regret and see my mother happy or stand up for what I truly believe in and see my mother unhappy on Christmas, which would later lead to regret. How can I make the decision to embarrass my family in a place where they have chosen to go for years?

2. How rude can you be?

Surely this man was intelligent enough to realize that there are people from out of town, newcomers, and nonbelievers or people who follow other religions in the building. You’re putting them in a very awkward situation at that point. I may sound hateful throughout this post, but it’s the simple truth. How do you expect someone to react in a situation like this? Be respectful towards my life choices, and I will be more than happy to respect your beliefs. However, when you are this rude in public towards those who have a different belief, its fair game. This tactic doesn’t convert people, genius; its a huge turn off.

3. Great way to convert nonbelievers

I just don’t even know where to begin here. I guess this is a good start; how the hell do you expect to convert “nonbelievers” by singling them out? What if the person had more questions before they “accepted” this thing you spoke of? Let me give you some advice, “Dr.” When you single someone out or make them feel targeted/uncomfortable in a large group of people, they’re going to comply and do as everyone else is. It’s like YouTube making every user signup for Google+ and link their accounts to comment – you end up with dead accounts. In this case, you end up with no return or a dead response from the people you should be trying to be kindest to. With the experience you claim to have, surely you realize how ridiculous it is to make someone feel pressured and targeted. Its simply wrong.

4. You’re just appealing to the masses

I believe Adolf Hitler swooped Germans off their feet by propaganda and appealing to the masses. Isn’t this what you’re doing? Let’s be honest. You shouldn’t try to appeal to those who you’ve converted at this point. According to your beliefs, there’s a bigger task – spreading the word about your God. Why would appealing to these people matter at this point, pastor? Yes, you want to keep the happy and make the feel the need to come back, but you’re just losing newcomers at this point. It was rude and not effective whatsoever.

4. Scare Tactics

First off, the only reason I mentioned this is because the pastor mentioned something that sparked the idea in my mind. This is more of a general part of the rant, but it does apply to the specific church. 

One of my favorite things to see a preacher or a missionary do is speak of “scary” possibilities. You realize you’re making your religion a security blanket, not a true belief, right? Telling someone, especially a kid, that they’ll burn in fiery pit if they don’t accept what you’re telling them is horrible, whether you believe it to be true or not. If you can’t give someone better information about your belief and give them logical reasons to believe in what you do instead of having to play on their emotions, you need to rethink your life and chosen belief. If you don’t believe in something, you look for the easy way out, and a scare tactic is the easiest way. I can’t begin to explain how horrible this is. Give people better information than saying they should be afraid to die! Death shouldn’t be scary; its part of the beautiful life we are given. It has to happen to everyone; thus, it is nothing to be afraid of. It’s inevitable.

All in all, what an effective “sermon,” pastor. I wish I could say this was all a joke. As often as I used to hear about religious persecution and humiliation at that place, this was quite the ironic Christmas gift from a church.

Merry Christmas to all, and I hope you all have a happy new year.